crazy stuff I shouldn’t put on my blog

I bet right there, with that title, my blog hit count will be at an all-time high today. I love this world.

Anyway.

England has a smell. It’s specific. It’s actually quite pleasant (Well, there is that one smell that isn’t as pleasant, but I’m not going to talk about that on my blog because that’d be crazy. Okay it’s sheep poo. There. I’ve said it. Some of England smells like sheep poo. But that’s not THE smell. THE England smell is a good smell. Already this post has gone horribly wrong in so many ways.). The good smell wafts by sometimes and I usually yell, “It’s the smell….the SMELL!” and Barry cowers and pulls me aside to beg me not to yell that anymore. Undeterred, I usually try to follow it so I can capture it and have it for my very own. You know, like a unicorn. But I hadn’t found it until I found this:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! (< That’s the sound of angels singing.)

This detergent smells like England. I can rest when I die now because all of my clothes smell like England. The good England smell, not sheep poo. Because making your clothes smell like feces would probably not be good for detergent sales.

My piano teacher’s house smells like that detergent kind of. I like it. Speaking of him since I haven’t in a while, he seems to think I have a terrible memory (despite the fact that I have trouble not memorizing music). Why does he think I will forget stuff? Just because I left my scale book at his house that one time. That’s really not enough to pin total forgetfulness on me. Well, and there are those three or four times I’ve forgotten to do my theory work. And maybe because I can never remember what’s going to be on my exams. But that’s IT. That’s not enough for a lack of memory label. Maybe if you add forgetting my best friend’s birthday this year until a week later…but he’s in a totally different country and my piano teacher doesn’t even KNOW about that. Wait. What was my point?

Do you think the five English people who read my blog will hate me now because I said some of their country smells like sheep poo? Well, just in case, I happen to know that some of Peru and parts of Mexico also smell like poo. And then there’s Texas. Don’t get me started on the smell of Texas.

Just kidding Texas. You don’t smell. But if I have to pick on somewhere in the US, it’s gonna be Texas. It’s like its own sovereign world where normal national rules don’t apply. Hasn’t Texas tried to be it’s own country a few times? Hey, that’d be cool. Then I can add a country to my “visited” list. Although, I’d actually be sad to see it go. I’ve now decided I love Texas.

Just like I love all the smells of England. The same way you love your weird cousin with the funny eyeball.

What the heck happened to this post? It is just wrong in so many ways. I’m still going to click “Publish” though. I’m compelled. I can’t wait anymore…I’m going to do it now.

PS: Texas….I love you. Please don’t break up with me because I joked that you stink on my blog. That would make me sad. We’re good, right? Remember the Alamo? All things are bigger in Texas, including a sense of forgiveness? Hello?

PPS: Oh, and I really, really love England.  And Peru and Mexico are good, too. 

In summary, please don't hate me.  The end.

pictures of peruvian people

Some of my favorite photos from Peru were of the Peruvian people.  I took pictures of the people doing what they do as much as I could.  Sometimes this required being a little sneaky.  Good thing I had super-zoom on my camera.  I'll just show you a random few.  Because you know I'm nothing if not random.

This is maybe my favorite photo of a person that I took.  She was weaving a blanket.  She was such a nice lady, always smiling and posing for the photos for us.

I couldn't help but snap a quick photo of this woman and her baby crossing the street in Cusco.

These are a few of the porters on the Inca Trail.  These people are amazing.  They are carrying at least 20 kilos (about 45lbs) and they race by you on the trail like you're standing still.  When they were coming, the people in the back of the group would shout, "Porter!" so that the people ahead would know to move out of the way.  It gave you an excuse to stop and rest because you're gasping for air while carrying your 10 kilo day pack and moving at a leisurely pace.  We came to know those as "porter breaks."  Thank goodness for porter breaks.

I thought this little girl in Aguas Calientes was adorable.  A little disconcerting that she was wandering the streets alone, but still - good photo op.

This man really got my attention.  He looks so troubled.  I really like the feeling this photo shows.

This happy fella is Victor.  He was the head of the household we stayed in for our native homestay.  He was the nicest man alive, I swear. 

This woman was at one of the ruins sites on our long journey from Cusco to Puno.  What an angry face!  Maybe it's because she's having to carry all of that stuff.  I'm not sure I'd be all smiles and giggles if I had to do that, either.

Remember these two ladies?  I showed you the photo of Lake Titicaca and promised a better picture of two woman on the path?  Here they are.  This isn't a great photo because they were very quick and I had on the super zoom, but here's the photo nonetheless.  Because promises are delivered here on the blog. 

This man was very busy beating something with that stick.  He was at the same ruins site as the angry woman above.  I wonder if that's just a bad place to live and they are upset about it?  Maybe it was the heat because even though it's winter there, it was BLAZING HOT that day. 

This Uros woman was cooking fish on one of the reed islands in Lake Titicaca.

This was one of the woman acting out a play for us on the reed islands.  They were trying to give us an idea of how the markets worked.  We eventually got to see a real trade market and it was one of my favorite things on the trip. I think they were just as interested in looking at us as we were of them, as we were the only tourists there.

Here is another of the reed island woman.  I think this is the one who led the Bear and I around a typical home.

The reed islands are hand made.  They have to keep adding reeds to the top because the ones on the bottom eventually rot away. 

This woman was at one of the small villages we visited.  I don't remember which one, though.  Photo comment FAIL.

This was one of two men who were rowing our reed boat from one of the floating islands to another.

I love people and this was a great trip to do some people watching (and photographing).

signs

The people in the jungle were so environmentally friendly.

With "safing" trees and all.  Everyone should safe some trees now and then. 

That's something we should contemplate.

Perhaps while having our meal in the "dinning" room. 

w is for wanderer, the world, winaywayna, want more travel

As you (probably) know, the Bear and I recently went on a trekking holiday to Peru. I’m such a wanderer – I want to see every part of the world. All of it. Every bit. Peru was at the top of my very, very long list because Peru has Machu Picchu. It’s one of those things I’ve wanted to see as long as I can remember.

We trekked through the Amazon jungle, the Inca Trail in the Andes and then Lake Titicaca. It was really great. I only recommend it to those of you who are in shape. Well, to those of you who are in shape and want to stretch yourself to the limits to see some bugs and a bunch of really old rocks. That’s all of my reader base, right?

In all seriousness, it really is worth all the hard work. Machu Picchu is an amazing sight from the Sun Gate. It seems to mean more when you trek the trail and work for it. There was something about laying my eyes on it for the first time that brought tears. I’m not usually the weepy type and I was shocked how overwhelmed I was. Obviously, no photos do it justice. This is one of the first glimpses I had of it.

{Machu Picchu from the Sun Gate}

I’ll probably post a few more in the coming weeks, but as I’m still going through them, I’ll just post as I go. Yep. You’re going to get so sick of Peru. The good news is that I’ve got more trips planned for this year so you can get sick of several places as the year goes by! Yay!

There are also lots of Incan ruins along the way. This one is Winaywayna which means “forever young.” (That’s for my friend Kat who says I never remember anything about the photos I take. PLUS, the explanation for this was in Spanish so I translated AND remembered. That must count for more points.)

{This is the view when you’re standing right in the middle of Winaywayna.}

This trip was one of the best I’ve ever taken. It was all I thought it would be. From the hot, rainy jungle to the gasping for oxygen in Andes, to the native homestay (where you spend the night with a native family on one of the islands on Lake Titicaca) . Although I must admit, it just makes me want to travel more. Is there any cure for wanting to see more of the world? If there is, I’d like to go ahead and order three cases. I’m gonna need it.

{This is Victor and his wife, the family we stayed with for our native homestay. They were very, very nice. The other couple on the far left also stayed with them.}

{The sunset over Lake Titicaca. I got a really great close up of those two women that I’ll show you later.}

only fifty

I’m getting back into the swing of things so I thought I’d do the writing prompt this week. Here’s the one I chose:

1.) The Love List. Write a list of 50 things you look for in a man.

I don’t really have a “type” of person I look for – I’d rather just go with the flow of meeting someone. So, what I like changes from person to person. Either I like someone or I don’t. The only real deal breakers are on my list numbers one through six. I can’t really live without those. The rest are just bonuses.

I sort of already did this in this post, but it was about what I love about people in general so that totally doesn’t count.

1. Intelligence
2. Humor (Meaning I like you to be funny. Funny good. Funny friend. Funny make Paige happy.)
3. Wit (Put intelligence with humor…BAM…wit.)
4. Passion
5. Compassion (If you can snuggle a puppy and still be comfortable in your manhood, it’s attractive.)
6. Happiness
7. Talent (Music springs instantly to mind with this one.)
8. Morals/Values (I should probably add that I like them to be similar to mine. Does that go without saying?)
9. Kindness (But not too much kindness. I don’t find those people who are overly nice to everyone attractive at all. Save some for me. Is that selfish? Who cares.)
10. Social awareness (This one is tricky. I just want someone who can be at a party and not be completely out of place. Not necessarily the life of the party, just enough social savvy so that it’s not a chore. )
11. Gentleness
12. Love of animals
13. Strength (Of character and physically. Although I don’t like muscley men. Ewww.)
14. A sense of direction (Both in life and on a road map.)
15. Life goals (This is kind of like 14, but not.)
16. A “day job” (I like a normal life with normal hours and need to be with someone similar.)
17. Dancing ability (Real dancing with set steps, not just moving around a dance floor while flailing your arms.)
18. A sense of adventure (Like, “Hey, let’s travel the globe.” Very important.)
19. Creativity
20. Ability to complete a task, big or small
21. Pride in workmanship
22. Good work ethic
23. Love of books and literature
24. Honesty (Ooo…this really should have been at the top. Oh, well, better late than never.)
25. Handiness around the house
26. Neatness and tidiness
27. Adaptability
28. Love of food (Love of the food I make is a bonus.)
29. Good communication skills
30. Ability to be quiet but not awkward
31. Supportiveness
32. Physical attractiveness (It only matters if a person is attractive to me. Other people’s opinions of my man’s attractiveness don’t matter to me at all. I almost never have the same taste in physical attractiveness as my friends.)
33. Sound financial views (A saving account is a good thing. I couldn’t care less about the car you drive, either. As long as it works and you have realistic views of your finances.)
34. Same views on children as me
35. Independence
36. Good conversationalist
37. Friends I can get along with
38. Family I can get along with
39. Interest in hobbies (I don’t really care what they are as long as learning and playing are a priority. Although, sharing some hobbies would be nice.)
40. Ability to fix my car if it dies (within reason)
41. Loves me as I am, even when I look my worst (Again, this should be at the top.)
42. Consistency (Same in the bad times as in the good times.)
43. Relaxed personality (I’m high-strung enough for two.)
44. Belief in traditional boy/girl roles (Not a big woman’s lib supporter. I’d rather cook, clean and have babies, thankyouverymuch. Please don’t send me hate mail.)
45. Taller than me. (Not really that difficult, but still worth stating.)
46. Contentment
47. Manners
48. Health
49. Nice voice
50. Love. Lots of love.

Goodness – that was difficult! I kind of ran out of ideas there at the end. That seems like a very tall order to fill. I wrote this list without thinking about the Bear so that I could see how many he has. Result – he makes the grade on all except two of these. Forty-eight out of fifty isn’t bad! Good for me!

(I bet you’re wondering which two. I bet you can’t guess!)

the new look

I know I've posted twice today but I just had to say something about FINALLY getting around to changing the look of my blog.  The other template I had was just some colors I randomly chose and a homemade banner - something I put together quickly when I started blogging in February.  I never intended for it to say this long but my old friend procrastination talked me into it.

Now I have a new look!  I'm still not sure I love it so I'm going to test drive it for a few days and see what I think.  It seemed bright and cheery for summer.  If I don't like it, I might change it.  We'll see.  Just so you know that I'm not losing my mind if my background changes everyday for a week.

Let me know what you think!

Also, I've posted my Peruvian hospital experience below.  In case you've been wondering how I fared on the Inca Trail through the Andes.

“the incident”

Know what this is? Go on…I’ll give you three guesses:

For those of you who guessed “inside of a Peruvian ambulance” you get 50 points!!

That’s right. I had a bit of an “incident” while we were in Peru. So instead of giving you photos of beautiful mountains and lovely flowers, I’m giving you Cusco Peru: Via Ambulance. Remember this post when I predicted my untimely Peruvian demise? Well. I got close. There’s not a lot to tell, actually. When we were flying into Cusco (which is at approximately 10,000 ft above sea level) from the Amazon rain forest (which is AT sea level) I passed out on the decent. Yep. Right there on the plane.

I started to feel odd and sleepy so I looked around and almost every single person on the plane was asleep. Keep in mind it was a short flight – about an hour or so. I thought, “Hmm. Odd.” Then I thought, “Also odd…I feel as though I might lose consciousness. I should put my head down.” So I did. And it worked.

So, feeling much better, I sat up again. And promptly passed out. Cold.

I could hear about 10 people saying, “Can you hear me? CAN YOU HEAR ME?” And I could. I was thinking, “Stop freaking screaming in my ears.” Also I heard my sweet Bear say over and over again, “It’ll be okay. You’ll be fine. Everything is okay. We’ll get though this. You’re okay.” I was thinking, “Dude, I feel just fine. Tell all those people to stop screaming in my ears.”

Anyway, in a few minutes I woke up lying down with an oxygen mask on. Mmmmm. Oxygen mask.

For some reason, our tour guide decided I needed to go to the hospital. Something about it not being “normal” and maybe there was something “wrong.” NAH. Although more oxygen wouldn’t really hurt. So I got the VIP ambulance escort from the airport. No lines, no waiting. I practically had to sign autographs.

When we got into the ambulance I still had the oxygen mask on and I was mumbling something to the Bear. He said, “What? Huh? I can’t understand you. Are you okay? Are you going to faint again?!” Me, taking my mask off, “Give me a camera.” According to the Bear’s response: Only me. I was thinking of the 10 loyal blog fans I have. See? Even when I’m gasping for air I was thinking of things I could show you.

Anyway, I spent several hours with an IV and more oxygen in Peruvian hospital staffed with people who only speak Spanish. Awesome. They clothed me like a doll and fed me and gave me some groovy“altitude sickness” tablets that totally worked. I marched out of there like a soldier all hydrated and oxygened up. I felt great. It was the only time on the holiday I got some decent sleep. AND I got some soup. SCORE.

{pre-IV, while wearing wonderful  thermal shirt with thumbholes that I wrote a poem about in this post}

Oh and one more thing: I had dreams in the hospital but they were all in Spanish. I know, like, 50 words in Spanish and can just about put a few important sentences together. But I understood my dreams and it was bizarre.

Well. Now I’ve gone and told you the most exciting story first. It’s all downhill from here. Wait – where are you going?

{because nothing says photo op like being in a hospital where no one can understand you}

{post-IV. Yeah. I’m still hot. I should use these photos as my modeling headshots.  Don't forget to admire that lovely alpaca piece of art in the background.}

missing weekend

I seem to be missing my weekend. It was Thursday then it was, well, now. I know this seems to happen to me a lot but I think there might be a hole in my weekend bag.

I haven’t forgotten about my blog despite the tumbleweeds rolling through here. I’m still wading waist deep in photos and stories. I just need more time. MORE TIME!! I can’t work under these conditions!

Sorry.

Anyway, I just wanted to check in and say hi. Now I have to cry in a corner about all of the things I’m behind on.

I promise to see you soon, though. I’ll bring photos, too, so don’t shoot.

Just because I like you, here's another photo for the long meantime.  It's a pig I saw in the Amazon rain forest. 

{Jungle Pig}

What?  You didn't expect to see photos of pigs?   FINE.  Here are some of Cusco.  They happened to be having the Corpus Christi celebration on our free day there.  How kind of them to schedule around us.

{Corpus Christi celebration crowd in Cusco}

 {Corpus Christi procession in Cusco}

panoramic picturesque peru

While you're all patiently waiting for me to sift through the thousands of photos from our trip to Peru, I thought I'd give you a peek via some of the panoramic shots I took.  There aren't many, but they are interesting.  Obviously no photo will ever do justice to the real thing, but here are the photos anyway.  You may have to click on them and scroll.

peru index

Continents I’ve traveled to in my adult life: 4
Number traveled to in the last three days: 3
Vacations the Bear and I have taken together (outside the US and UK): 3
Number of vacations in which the Bear and I stayed in a hut: 3
Passport stamps acquired while in South America: 7

{Just before boarding the boat to the jungle lodge in the Amazon rain forest}

Hours the plane was late arriving to Lima: 3
Hours of sleep most of us got the first night in Peru: 3
Hours of activities and traveling the next day: 15
Number of people on our Peru trip: 14
Number of people on the trip who were British: 13
Number of people on the trip who were men: 4
Number of people on the trip suffering some sort of illness: 6
Number of people with headache/altitude sickness: 3
Number of people with tummy issues: 2
Number of people who fainted: 2
Number of people with knee troubles: 2
Number of people on the trip over sixty years old: 1
Number of people on the trip over sixty with ailments: 0
Number of people who fell down while trekking in the Andes: 4
Number of people who completed the Inca Trail: 14
Number of people soaking wet under their waterproofs on the day it rained: 13
Age of the person not soaking wet under waterproofs: 60+
Number of people who used at least one walking pole: 12

{Our group at the Inca Trail head}

Number of porters for a group of fourteen: 18
Number of cooks: 2
Number of guides through the Andes: 2
Total number of guides on the trip: 5
People drinking coco tea at the beginning of the trip: 2
People drinking coco tea by the end of the trip: 14
Sunny days on the Inca Trail out of five: 4
Days in rained on the trip out of sixteen: 1
Number of times we took a bath in a bowl in the Andes: 8
Baby wipes used between the Bear and me: 24
Total number of photos taken by me and the Bear: 3786
Number of times I had to pee in the woods with no shelter of any kind: 1
People who got teary-eyed at the first sight of Machu Picchu: 3
People who got teary-eyed the last time we saw the porters: 3
Number of times I wished for a Milky Way candy bar: 10
Number of Milky Ways I actually ate: 1.5
Number of Milky Ways I have eaten in the past 2 years: 1.5
Different types of transportation used while in South America: 6
Number of countries I’ve now been to: 10
Number of countries I’ve been to in which English is not the official language: 6
Number of countries in which I’ve visited a hospital: 3
Number of times we had to drive through a field in a bus: 2
Number of times we had to drive down a railroad track in a bus: 1
Number of times I got bitten by a bug: 11
Number of days required to get all eleven bites: 1
Number of times I thought of something to blog about: 17

 {On the Inca Trail in my "waterproof"}

okay...so i lied. (oh...and I'm back)

Yeah.   Remember when I said that I was taking a weekend off the blog?  Well, I actually went to South America for two weeks.  But I DID spend time with the Bear.  So that's just stretching the truth a little, not technically lying per se.  Right?  Come on, work with me here.

So...if you've been wondering why I've not been the commenting crazy person I usually am it's because I was dragging myself up an Andean mountain.  Or in fear of my life in Lima.  Or trying to photograph a monkey in the Amazon rain forest.  You know, the usual stuff you're doing when you're not blogging.

I have a TON of hilarious stories and literally thousands of photos from our trip to Peru that I will be forcing on you sharing over the coming weeks.  We just got back last night around midnight so it'll take me a few days to get the photos sorted, etc.  I also took a journal so I could give you a step-by-step account of every single minute.  I know.  You're so excited!

Anyway, I'm going to go continue to do laundry.  If I keep up the mad pace of laundry in, laundry out I've had going since the wee hours of the morning I might be able to avoid a mutiny by the pieces of clothing that can now walk by themselves.  Wish me luck.

I missed you guys!

bicycles

I really like photos of bicycles.  Not sure why.  Just do.  Want to see a few?  Okay.  Anything for you.

black olive baby

I love black olives. A lot. I’ve loved them from a very early age. Here, I’ll show you.

That’s me. My mom bought a pizza and she thought it’d be cute to take a photo of little me with a giant pizza in front of me. When she went to the other room to fetch the camera, she came back to see me with a fist full of black olives that I had picked from the pizza. Then she noticed that I still had those in my hand because I’d already stuffed as many of them in my mouth as I could fit. They were delicious.

Again, I love my mom’s priorities. Baby stuffing face with a new food – what should you do? Be wary of a choking hazard? No. Get camera and take lots of photos? Yes. Same rules apply when your toddler is drunk on Tylenol. (Read about priorities and drunkenness here.)

What’s with all the old photos lately? I guess I’m feeling nostalgic. Think anyone would notice if I decided to be a toddler again? I don’t think so, either.

I have to go because I suddenly have a craving for a pizza.

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odds and ends viii

Guess what? Random time.

First off, how long have I been gone from the US? When did the $10 bill turn orange? I happened across a picture and I was like, “That’s ORANGE. When did that happen?” I feel so out of the loop.

The other day the Bear was in a meeting and sent me this text: “All of the tutors have macs and iphones. Thinking of stealing one for you.” Did I hit the boy jackpot or what? Because legitimately buying me one wouldn’t spell love.

When I moved in here the Bear had a sad little spider plant in the corner that he never watered and it got zero sunlight. I asked if I could have him and the Bear grumbled something so I took him under my wing. Boy did I turn his little green life around! He grew to be gigantic. Seriously huge. With arms. I used to kid the Bear about walking by the window he filled because he had arms now and he’d reach out and choke the Bear for starving him for months. We named him Cyril. Eventually, I had to separate him into eight pots because there was no dirt left in the one he was in. I love him. Is it odd that I get attached to plants and give them names?

Well, that’s about it for me. Gotta dash. Things to not do.

(Look! Look! A short post!!)

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